Psychological Flexibility...

 …is a skill – the cognitive ability (and its practice) of being open, curious, and adaptable to one’s life experience.

Why is it important?  Because if there is an antidote to that dysfunctional conditioning we’ve inevitably acquired in our life’s journey, as well as the dark side of bias, it is psychological flexibility.

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Recall that we have “no choice” in our reactions – it’s something the Elephant does; it “creates” our feelings, those emotions that we sense physically and (often) give language to (e.g., “I’m sad, anxious, afraid, happy, confused…”).  Recall also that, particularly when threatened, the “fight, flight, freeze” reaction “kicks in” – again, automatically…but then what do we do?

As children, of course, we go along with it; we haven’t yet learned that we may do otherwise. And we thus naturally develop beliefs (without being aware of such) about “how the world works”…and these become biases.  And later on, into adolescence and adulthood, we hone our ability for self-justification – that need to explain, defend, excuse, and justify our beliefs and behaviors – for this “protects us” from a cognitive dissonance that could arise if our challenged beliefs are found to be wrong or untrue.

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Put simply, psychological flexibility is being open to, curious about, and amenable in…hearing, looking at, considering, questioning, examining what we know as well as what we know nothing about…!  It is being called, or characterized as being, open-minded – something usually considered a rather positive, admired, even desirable personality trait.

Another “take” is that psychological flexibility2 is the ability – maybe more accurately the willingness – to consider our present experience from different perspectives.  For example:

  • Instead of “just going along” with our reaction (i.e., those emotions, feelings, and the “thinking” or self-talk that follows), we can step back to consider our longer term values.
  • Instead of “mindlessly” (i.e., automatically) accepting emotions as unquestionably appropriate, justified, correct, and reliable guides to behavior, we can place them in a different context as the flipside of what really matters.
  • Instead of running away “automatically” (a.k.a. avoidance) from certain unpleasant thoughts (i.e., here again, the flight in “fight,flight, or freeze”) we can come to recognize(!) and thus see them as just learned behaviour (i.e., conditioning) and not something we necessarily need to listen to or struggle with.
  • Instead of – here again, “automatically” – accepting our reactions as always valid (as children can’t help but do), we can learn to recognize (or learn to assume) that bias is the “norm” but being open (i.e., psychologically flexible!) is the better, more preferred, more helpful, more rational, useful, constructive and appropriate response.
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So, how does one become psychologically flexible i.e., open, curious, adaptable?  Well, this is about Rider capability and functioning – i.e., the Rider working on the Rider to develop – as in change, learn, improve, hone, and elevate – such executive functioning that “drives” self-awareness (a.k.a. mindfulness), self-regulation, and that “non-negotiable” impulse for self-preservation.
 
How does one become open – or, for most of us, more open?  (You might click here.)  By realizing its importance and desirability – and, in such acknowledgement, keeping that in short-term memory where it is more likely to “remind one” to try it out.  And then, in “applying it” – in asking “is there something else that could (is) going on here?” – one comes to find…there is!  And such experience fuels the likelihood of doing it again. This proactive, mindful effort to remind yourself to be open can and will, with sustained practice, become habitual (i.e., you’ll “do it” without “mindful reminding”); and it will come to serve you well in better understanding and navigating life’s difficulties, issues, and challenges.
 
How does one become curious?  Well, curiosity is something you already have (and are)…but it’s most likely been suppressed, corrupted, undermined, lost, overruled by all one’s conditioning.  Curiosity is not a skill, as in something you have to learn, develop, practice – but then, maybe it is something you have to “resuscitate” or “relearn” by giving it the space, the opportunity, the freedom to be, to thrive, to be so constructively indulged.
 
How does one become flexible/adaptable?  In fully acknowledging that not to be so is rigid, fixed, limited, and unchanging…but then, so are dead people.
 
 
 
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1  Elephant/Rider Model: Based on the metaphor from The Happiness Hypothesis, Jonathan Haidt, 2006.
2 from https://workingwithact.com/what-is-act/what-is-psychological-

Mindfulness defined...

Mindfulness is your Rider in a mental state of self-directed  focused awareness on what is happening in the present moment [i.e., the emotions your feeling, in such a way as to constructively respond to the reactions being experienced.

SQ

meditation, mindfulness, reconditioning
Sitting Quietly (SQ) is first a self-care practice, one of calming renewal and connection…it’s also “the vehicle” of introspection, enabling discovery, insight…and healing.

LP

duck, ducklings, mallard
Life Practices are particular activities we engage on a more or less regular basis, using skillsets we learn and develop, and that serve to make our lives meaningful, productive, and rewarding…

SQ is an evidenced-based way to actually retrain the Elephant and effect lasting change