(from Tavris and Aronson’s Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me), 2018)

 

Cognitive dissonance is a state of mental tension that occurs when you have conflicting cognitions (ie, beliefs, ideas, feelings, attitudes, opinions).  Just for example, you think “I know smoking is a dumb thing to do because it could kill me” but then go on to acknowledge “I smoke two packs a day.”  Such dissonance results in that Elephant-driven feeling of mental discomfort which can range from minor pangs to deep anguish (i.e., some serious anxiety); and one doesn’t rest easy until a way is found to reduce or eliminate it.

 

This is where a kind of thinking called self-justification comes to the rescue. Self-justification (SJ) is the “Rider-approved” response that will “explain,” or excuse, or defend oneself and thus alleviate having to take responsibility for holding beliefs that are conflicted; and sometimes more, for engaging in behaviors that could turn out to be harmful, immoral, or stupid.

 

Now, most of us will never be in a position to make decisions affecting the lives and deaths of millions of people, but whether the consequences of our mistakes are trivial or tragic, on a small scale or a national canvas, most of us find it difficult if not impossible to say “I was wrong; I have made a terrible mistake.” And the higher the stakes—emotional, financial, moral—the greater the difficulty.

 

And it goes further than that. Most people, when directly confronted (by others) with evidence that they are wrong, do not change their point of view or plan of action…but justify it even more tenaciously.

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SJ is, in one sense, a human need; i.e., we have to live with ourselves – and cognitive dissonance is uncomfortable, often painful, even potentially excruciating.  In seeking such “relief,” SJ involves both rational (ie, truthful, reasonable, logical) and irrational (ie, false, erroneous, delusional) thinking; and with likely emphasis on the latter.  But while it results to great benefit in some measure of acceptable “reconciliation” (just eg, it lets us get to sleep at night), it may also be quite harmful, even – eventually – potentially disastrous.

 

The following website provides a wonderful presentation of SJ’s pros and cons, especially the harm and hurt that it can wreak: