Sitting Quietly – The Relaxation Response

The relaxation response is a state of physical and emotional calm…it is the opposite of, and serves to counteract, the fight-or-flight response (often a reaction to panic, worry, or fear). It can be a desirable state to engage, for example when one feels overly stressed, angry, anxious, or even afraid. It also happens to be a reliable self-care practice as well, one that promotes balance and, when needed, a revitalizing “re-boot.”

This exercise builds on SQ-3[2] and SQ-3A[3] in that it provides a way “to measure” the extent of one’s effort to relax while also keeping the practice (i.e., as a “calming tool”) useful and effective. It involves a second kind of counting, to measure the duration of each full breath you take. The longer an overall inhale/exhale takes is an indication of a lower heart rate and a more relaxed state of being.

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Getting started:

1. Sit up and get comfortable – this can be done on a chair with your feet grounded on the floor; or sitting up cross-legged on the floor, usually on a mat with a cushion.
2. Close your eyes and say silently, “Okay, let’s relax…” and bring your focus right to the breath; simply concentrate on the inhale/exhale, the air coming in through your nose and then leaving the body, or the rise and fall of your chest and stomach.
3. When you’re ready, begin a breath-count; start with “0” on the inhale, “1” on exhale, “2-3” etc up to “8-9”. Continue your count with “10” on the next inhale, and “0” on the exhale, proceeding with “1-2”, “3-4” etc. Ending this “rep” with “9-10”, you can continue with “0-1” on another rep…
4. Stay with the breath-counting until a single inhale/exhale has slowed to taking at least three-to-four seconds…

Perform a Breath-Length Count (BLC)…

1. When you feel you’re ready, try now a Breath-Length Count (BLC) to get a measure of your relaxation response; this means start a new kind of count to gauge the duration of a complete inhale/exhale. To do this, begin at the start of an inhale and count silently “One-thousand 1, one-thousand 2, one-thousand 3, etc” and continue counting through the entire inhale AND exhale. Then, at the start of the next inhale, begin again at “One-thousand 1” and complete the count. Repeat this for a number of breaths until you have a firm idea of [and we’ll call it here] your “baseline BLC.”
2. Now go back to doing some more breath-counting reps – or [!] engage in either Abdominal Breathing (AB) or Box Breathing[4] (BB) for a period of breathing (you decide how long).
3. When you’ve completed some more breath-count reps or some amount of AB or BB, perform another BLC to check in on your state of relaxation. As your BLC value increases so should your sense of calm and relaxation improve.[5]

Concluding…

1. End with a breath-count or two, thus keeping your focus on the breath; then take a moment to notice the physical sensations of how less tense you likely are.
2. Smile to yourself (this actually has neurological benefits!)…and take in a slightly deeper breath. Gently open your eyes, bring your awareness back to your present space, and when ready, step more calmly into the rest of your day…

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[1] “The Relaxation Response” is a term, now in common usage and taken from the book the Relaxation Response by Herbert Benson, M.D., 1975, that refers to (put simply) an overall state of being relatively free from tension and anxiety, and feeling a greater sense of calm, tranquility, and peacefulness.

[2] Concentration, which brings about relaxation…

[3] Abdominal Breathing, which aids the parasympathetic system. The sympathetic nervous system is involved in preparing the body for stress-related activities; the parasympathetic nervous system is associated with relaxing the body and returning to routine, day-to-day operations. The two systems have complementary functions, operating in tandem to maintain the body’s homeostasis.

[4] Box Breathing, which also which aids the parasympathetic system…

[5] Note: Another “seat-of-the-pants” measure you can use is to notice how the intensity of your breathing decreases while the depth increases.)