Sitting Quietly – Relaxation (or Concentration with Benefits…)

The following is a brief exercise in sitting quietly that works on the cognitive skill of concentration – the ability to focus. But…it also usually delivers another real benefit to one’s mental well-being – that of “de-stressing,” or more commonly understood as relaxation. Which is often achieved by detaching oneself from the present moment of one’s cognitive experience and its seeming “demands.”

Now you might think, “Of course I can focus;” and you do, most often quite naturally; just for example when reading instructions or when in conversation with a friend or in learning something you want to. But this is a slightly different experiencing of focus; in this exercise, you’re directing your attention so as to let go of all other cognitive processing you normally engage in and to enter a mental state of detachment – and maybe, or even especially, from that annoying and often dysfunctional thinking as well (like worrying, anxious thoughts, regret, rumination, or negative self-talk).

This ability to detach, to step away from, to disengage from your “normal processing” of daily experience can actually serve to help develop a number of other important psychological skills. But for now, the immediate payback from this exercise is likely just a basic self-care of the mind, manifest in feeling less stressed and achieving some measure of relaxation (even as you remain alert and aware!). It can also serve, when needed, as a kind of “re-boot” to quickly distract and thus reset your cognitive focus.

Do the exercise once or twice to learn it…and then use it when needed or appropriate to distract, detach, or just “clear the deck.”

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Getting started…

1. Start as you normally would a sitting quietly exercise; e.g., sit up and get comfortable… or, and if possible, just find a quiet, secluded, or private spot.
2. Bring your focus to the breath. Notice the different ways to experience the inhale and exhale…in your belly, chest, shoulders, mouth, and nose. Settle your focus on one place (e.g., the breath coming in and going out through your nostrils). Keep this focus for at least 3-5 breaths.

Concentration [with the help of counting]…

1. When you’re ready, begin a mental-count while maintaining your focus on the place you’ve chosen to observe the breath coming in and out. Start with “0” on the inhale, “1” on exhale, and on to “2-3” etc up to “8-9”. Continue your count with “10” on the next inhale, and then “0” on the exhale, proceeding with “1 (inhale)-2 (exhale)”, “3-4” etc, ending with “9-10”.
2. We’ll call this double count to 10 (i.e., starting at “0” counting to “10” and then with “0” to “10” again) a “rep” (as in repetition, or twice counting 0 to 10). In learning this practice try to do two or three reps. (In future use, when you need or want to engage it, you’ll know how many to do…one rep, or a number of them depending on what it takes to calm down and relax.)
3. Now at some point (as you know already) your mind is likely to wander. So don’t sweat it! If/when it does, and you notice you’ve lost track of the count, simply acknowledge it and – with no negative self-judging! – gently bring yourself back to focus on the breath; then simply restart the count again: “0-1, 2-3, 4-5; etc”
4. If your mind has wandered off some number of times (say, 3-5), or if you’re able to complete some number of full breath-counting cycles (say, 2 to 3), then prepare to conclude the sitting.

Concluding…

1. Take a moment to check in on your physical state; are you still tense anywhere (brow, neck, belly, hands); are your shoulders down; is your jaw relaxed and tongue not stuck to the roof of your mouth…? Or notice what your body can tell you…a lot, if only you let it…
2. Now, smile to yourself (yes, dammit, actually smile!; there’s a neurological benefit to this)…take in a slightly deeper breath, gently open your eyes, and bring your awareness back to your present physical space.
3. When you’re ready, step calmly into the challenge or event in your day…