Life Practices – Awakening

Evolution – in its harsh, callous, and yet fascinating progression – has brought the human species to a point where each of us now exist, struggle, and live within the shadows of our own individual conditioning, ignorance, and delusion…

• Conditioning is the mental process in which your mind is “trained” to believe and/or do certain things. What “gets in there and stays” (in your Elephant) – like beliefs, skills, habits, biases – is directly related to the sensory and conceptual processes that you experience, practice, and are subjected to.
• Ignorance is that cognitive state of simply not knowing – which, in an often convoluted way, contributes to misunderstanding, flawed reasoning, and errors in judgment…as well as making poor or harmful decisions.
• Delusion is that psychological condition of having a distorted interpretation – or an outright misapprehension – of the perceived reality or conceptualized belief held.

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Without realizing it – or at least not until one gets older – each of us has been, since birth, the target of conditioning. But it’s rarely called that; rather, it goes by other names…like educated, trained, disciplined, encouraged, punished, directed, expected to, shamed, persuaded, humiliated, enticed, threatened, promised, and – in ways even more disturbing – indoctrinated, brainwashed, and programmed.  What is arguably of critical importance is to become aware – “awakened to” or enlightened, if you will – of what this has done to us…because, coupled with our genetics, it is all that conditioning that makes us who we are.

Some of the words used above to describe conditioning may sound harsh…as intended. But this is to emphasize the real, often tragic nature of this daily and universal experience. For while we can (and do!) greatly benefit from conditioning, we also pay a price – frequently a very steep one – which manifests in the form of being blind to what the actual reality and the truth really are.

Because this is what conditioning does: It “programs” or “wires” the brain to learn and look for patterns, to seek or “see” the familiar, and consequently to avoid or discount the dissonant. And as a child, the young, impressionable Elephant brain has no filters or gatekeepers to manage or question the truth, validity, or relevance of what is being communicated by adults, whether verbally or more often by their behavior. And thus, by the age when one’s Rider eventually develops such capacity to consider, question, and discriminate, the human tendency in cognitive processing has become one more likely that: a) will ignore relevant data or facts; b) eschew even the consideration of alternative perspectives, interpretations, or meaning; and c) accept without questioning what seem to be our “appropriate” reactions (a.k.a. feelings and emotions).

It could be said that conditioning often acts like the magician’s trick of directing your focus to be over there while the “illusion” (actually, the reality!) is happening – in plain sight, mind you – right here!  That is, you “see” only what the magician (your conditioning) directs you to see…and you miss out, or are deluded by, what is really going on…

But arguably the most insidious consequence of conditioning is that it enables – in fact, promotes – those other two self-limiting cognitive states of ignorance and delusion…and thus impedes our efforts to grapple with, truly understand, and make sense out of why and what is actually, really happening in our life.

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The disturbingly obvious and sadly ironic thing about conditioning, ignorance and delusion is…they can be rather difficult “to see” or to become aware of them…especially when, in fact, you are them. And so the truism that “To solve a problem, you first have to see the problem” can be particularly troublesome. Thus the primary goal of awakening is…to see clearly what is otherwise hidden, to become aware of what has previously been unknown, and to identify such deceptions that have been, well, deluding us.

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And so…it is our inevitable fate to be conditioned – subject to the expectations and requirements imposed by the culture we are born into – and thus come to rely on a certain, albeit limited, understanding of our world and “how it works.” It may be (should be!) disturbing to then realize this means the normal mode of our conscious experience is one of mostly conditioned reactions. That is, the vast majority of our reactions and behavioral responses – which include all the emotions and feelings that come up from the daily stream of experienced events – are “automatic” and, in a sense, predetermined; even, to a certain extent, predictable.

While there are other variables that affect what our experience of, and reaction to, a given event may be – including our mood, our physical state, and our cognitive state – the most germane element remains our conditioned understanding of how the world is and how it works (i.e., our mostly hidden and unexamined beliefs). This means that should we ever want our experience to change (and so often, of course, we do!) we must change one or more of these variables, the most influential one being what we’ve learned and come to believe from all that conditioning. (Spoiler Alert: This is not always the natural or easy thing to do…)

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Living in the shadows of conditioning, ignorance, and delusion tends to motivate (as in enable) avoidance and aversion behaviors. One can see the evidence for this by looking around at other people! While many are trying to live their lives by “playing the game” and in some cases appearing to succeed (by whatever measures they have been conditioned to believe or apply!), try to observe carefully how they are more likely moving from one moment to the next, looking (many often desperately) for the next distraction, diversion, or amusement; the next drink or fix; the next text or social-media-blip; the next show or video; the next fault or complaint with others they can find, or find to blame; the next sugary sweet they can have; the next craving or desire they can satisfy…all with a seemingly imperative need of having to fill every waking hour…

Why? Well, because that’s what “they think” (i.e., have been conditioned and come to believe) makes one happy or fulfilled…as too often their conditioning has so completely convinced them this is how one is supposed to live!

But, one might ask, “Conditioning or not – isn’t that what does, or at least can, make one happy?” Well, yes, it can…until, inevitably, it doesn’t.  And it’s when this doesn’t – experienced or manifest in, or as, boredom, burnout, meaninglessness, hopelessness – most often leads to some really difficult and nasty consequences; like depression, addiction, domestic violence, pathological disorders, and in the extreme suicide.

One antidote, as you might suspect (given that you’re reading this)…is to awaken…

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So as we live our lives in the shadows of our conditioning, ignorance, and delusion, and flounder in the “normal” or default mode of conscious experience – that being automatic, reactionary, and Elephant-driven – it would appear the deck is stacked against us in life…especially in making more than just random or serendipitous progress in such goals as self-improvement, happiness, and well-being.

And yet…there is a natural underlying motive force in our healthy essential being that tends to drive us towards these objectives; more than just the desire for pleasure or some momentary relief, we are able to imagine and conceive of something more. And thus our constant life challenge is one of what to do, how to achieve, and how to do better.  It is when we awaken to such realities and possibilities that life can become more interesting, hopeful, and engaging.

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Some approaches that enable or promote awakening – a precursor to enlightenment – include:

Education:  Now wait a minute – isn’t that the culprit accused of conditioning us? Well, yes, it was…but here the meaning of education is of the volitional, “you’re seeking” kind; as opposed to the conditioning type that is prescriptive and consists of “being told or instructed.” Maybe a better label to use here instead of education would be self-development, as in the consciously directed effort to continually learn, improve, and value oneself, one’s potential, and one’s capabilities.

Gratitude:  This is about consciously taking a different perspective, and considering how one’s life is mostly one of circumstance and fate. And that making it something more – something more meaningful and positive and pleasurable – is really a precious evolutionary gift.

Social Connection:  When liberated from egocentric preoccupation, the self is able to genuinely empathize, share with, and be stimulated, even inspired, by others…and which leads to a clearer understanding and appreciation of the human condition.

Meditation:  When familiar with this practice, one comes to understand meditation is all about mindfulness and awakening.

Conversation:  But of a particular kind; see for example John Gatto’s description of Spirit Talk.

Therapy:  While there are many reasons to engage in therapy, they are all more or less about change; and generally involve finding ways or strategies to see the world differently.

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At some point on the path of awakening one must come to the realization of an existential humility – that is, a deep and daunting sense for the impermanence and fragility of life. In such contemplation, much of one’s prior conditioning, especially of the dysfunctional type, may be exposed…and made suspect. The egocentric impulse becomes appropriately compromised and one’s appreciation for life’s higher aspirations – like love, kindness, beauty, tolerance, dignity – becomes immutably sacrosanct.

Which leads to a closing thought…

“Be like the bamboo…the higher you grow the deeper you bow.”

                                                                                          – Chinese Proverb