ERM* – Engaging the Observing Self

This is a brief sitting quietly exercise[1] to learn about, and how to engage, the Observing Self. This is a term – as you’ll encounter in the exercise – used to describe the conscious mind’s ability to 1) disengage from it’s more familiar Being Self mode, and 2) look at, without being triggered by or reacting to, what’s going on in the internal world of one’s being (which is, mostly, about what’s going in the external world of one’s being).

Developing this capacity to engage an Observing Self perspective facilitates using other psychological skills – like defusion, acceptance, and problem-solving (e.g., CBT) – and enables a higher-level functioning mindfulness …which means being able to pay attention in the moment with a greater sense of openness, curiosity, and flexibility…

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Note: When you see “…” in this guided exercise, it means to pause for 3-5 breaths.

BEGIN:  Sit up straight, let your shoulders drop and gently push your feet into the floor…get a sense of the ground beneath you. You may either close your eyes or fix them on a spot or object in front of you, whichever you prefer…

Now, take a moment to notice how you are sitting…then, bring your focus to the breath; notice the inhale and exhale for 8-10 breaths – and observe the effect you sense in your body, like on your stomach and chest…in your neck and shoulders…

Now turn your attention to your eyes; notice what you can see (even if your eyes are closed!)…notice what you can hear…then, notice and name a feeling or two that comes up…notice, and then let go of, a thought or two…and now mentally step back and become aware of being aware…

So – there’s a part of you in there that can notice everything that you see and hear, even touch, taste, smell, as well as look at thoughts and feelings…There isn’t a good word for this capacity in everyday language, so let’s call it “the observing self.”

Life is like a stage show[2]…and on that stage are all your thoughts, and all your feelings, and everything that you can see, hear, touch, taste, and smell…The observing self is that part of you which can step back and watch the stage show…it can focus on any one part of it…or take it all in at once…

Reflect for a moment on this: As you observe, become further aware of doing so without letting judgment or identification with what’s being noticed distract you…although it likely will. If (actually when) your mind gets hooked and wanders away, don’t sweat it; simply bring yourself back to where you were and move on…just noticing without judgment…

Then, when you’re ready, gently open your eyes, and bring your awareness back to your present physical space. And step calmly into the rest of your day…

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[1] This exercise, and the term “Observing Self,” is taken from Russ Harris’s ACT Made Simple

[2] Some people find another metaphor here more helpful; it goes like this:  Life can be seen as a merry-go-round…and on it are all your thoughts, and all your feelings, and everything that you can see, hear, touch, taste, and smell…The observing self is that part of you which can step off and watch the merry-go-round…it can focus on any part of it…or take it all in at once…

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*Elephant/Rider Model: The Happiness Hypothesis, Jonathan Haidt, 2006.