STEP BACK
which means
1. PULL BACK from this present moment NOW(!)...
...and PUT YOUR FOCUS on THE NEXT FEW BREATHS...
2. Then...ENGAGE YOUR RIDER (i.e., think!)...which means:
3. LOOK AT...
...what is really happening here?
4. And now, ask yourself and DECIDE:
What can I do, at least for now, to best address this...
START with "0" on the Inhale...
...then say (silently to yourself) "1" on the Exhale,
and then "2" on the next Inhale...
..."3" on the Exhale, and so on...
When you get to "10" (an inhale) use "0" on the Exhale...and continue with "1" on the Inhale...
..."2" on the Exhale and so on...
...finishing this second count with "10" as the exhale.
______
Good! Now return to the "AND THEN CONSIDER" menu below and decide what next to do...
GROUND YOURSELF
By naming 5 objects you can see...
Now name 4 kinds of transportation...
Name 3 places you'd like to visit...
Name 2 shows you liked as a kid ...
Name 1 childhood friend...
______
Good! Now return to the "AND THEN CONSIDER" menu below and decide what next to do...
HEALTHY DIVERSION...
means doing something that requires mindful engagement.
For example: reading (just about anything); watching a favorite movie; playing a game, whether board, card, or video; engaging a hobby (i.e., something you like to do, such as gardening, baking, painting); or cleaning (yeah, cleaning - your space, place, home!).
A WORKOUT...
that involves heavy, intense exercise can make one feel a whole lot better.
Actually - just going for a walk can make you feel better...
THEIR-CARE...
is another way to engage in positive, constructive, healthy diversion, by taking you away from the crappy way you're feeling to - guaranteed(!) - a better place. More on this here...
REMIND YOURSELF...
...of some enduring truths:
1. Time passes, things change...tomorrow will be different...
2. If you can't remember it, forget it...
3. Conflict and struggle are part of life...and - while we don't appreciate it in the moment (like this moment) - they do in fact make us stronger...
4. You really can - YOU...REALLY...CAN - make a difference.
5. In our reactions we don't have much say - it's all Elephant...and it's going to be fight/flight/freeze/or fuck it. But for here, now, the critical question becomes, "What's our Rider (going) to do?" Because, as the prior point points out...