CBT*: Disputation Strategies

Keep in mind the goal of learning – and using – CBT: To minimize distorted thinking and see the world more clearly…because doing so usually results in greater happiness and less suffering. One very helpful and proven method for doing this involves using disputation strategies in the thinking you have about your life and experiences.

Disputation in CBT is the psychological skill of learning how to argue with yourself.  It is not a particularly natural or intuitive practice that people engage in, nor is it generally taught in our “formal” education. But it is not too difficult to learn, especially when you consider that you’ve already been “disputing” for many years now – only it’s been with others, not yourself!

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Consider what your experience is like when you engage in disputation (i.e., argue, defend, try to convince) with others…your goal of course is to get what you want. When you’re in – or preparing to engage in – this mode of behavior, you unconsciously take a specific position, or (call it) perspective; it is one of self-interest (at least as you understand your need or desire in that moment). And your thinking is all about what reasons, arguments, and “facts” you can come up with to present (or strengthen) your case. It’s well described as your inner lawyer.[1]

But now suppose you were to take this natural skill you often use and learn to apply it from a different perspective! That is, rather than defend your perceived self-interest, learn to take an opposing view (or, let’s just say alternative view) and prosecute the case against the original thought, or feeling, or belief, or desire, or personal conflict you’re having.

In doing so, what you’re most likely to find are 1) biases that influence you (these can be both positive or negative!), 2) beliefs that may be ambiguous (or notably unhelpful), 3) facts that were ignored (or dismissed), and 4) new thoughts that will significantly alter or reframe the situation.

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Here are some strategies:

1. Take an Alternative View – Simple and straightforward, put yourself in a different (or even the opposite!) position and argue “passionately” for that view. (See the inner lawyer.)
2. Habit 5[2] – “Seek first to understand; then to be understood.”
3. Ask a Friend – What might a friend say if you were to ask them about…
4. Short-term/Long-term – Consider both the short-term and the long-term costs of taking this – or that – view or action…
5. (Actually) Ask a Friend – what are friends for! Of course, it should be a friend (or family member) who you trust and respect…
6. Try the Miracle Question – “Suppose tonight, while you slept, a miracle occurred. When you awake tomorrow, what would be some of the things you would notice that would tell you that life had suddenly gotten better?”

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[1] The inner lawyer in the ERM (Elephant/Rider Model) is a Rider function; it’s acting to rationalize or defend what the Elephant has determined you want (or like, or don’t like). The Rider “works” to come up with all the reasons (or excuses) that convince and justify why you want, or want to do, or want to believe, something. The Rider takes a particular viewpoint (just as real lawyers are paid to do) that is here, naturally, one of self-interest.

[2] From The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Covey, 1989.