ERM*: Why Sitting Quietly…

Sitting quietly (SQ) may be called mindfulness, prayer, reflection, meditation, respite, chilling, taking time out, collecting, noticing, centering…or, in the ERM, a Rider practice.

Whatever one may choose to call sitting quietly – for it can be any one or a combination of these – it is the practice of taking a little time out of your day or weekly grind and giving yourself the opportunity to just be…and thus to connect (and sometimes this means re-connect) to the genuine, essential, and “it’s good to be alive” you. It also allows one to process pain, grief and hurt, to determine and reflect on what is important, to discover something never realized before, and to feed or [when necessary] tap into one’s inner strength and goodness!  So, consider:

1. SQ is SELF-CARE…and helps to promote Balancein your life.

• • • SQ can be to your mental well-being what exercise is to your physical well-being.
    • It can relaxthe mind, and serve as a respite (rest) from “monkey-mind” and the incessant demand to do more, be more, impress more, acquire more.  It also serves as an antidote to the stressful, toxic impact of living in a 24/7 media-saturated environment.
    • And yet it can also hone and sharpen the mind; and serve as a preventative to living your life too much on automatic pilot.

2. SQ is THERAPEUTIC…and helps to develop Psychological Flexibility.

• • • SQ enables one’s capacity to be open, curious, and flexible…and facilitate one’s efforts in learning about life and how to better spend one’s time, understanding the human condition, and even engaging in the exploration of the mystery.
    • It facilitates defusion, which means one can disengage from “the struggle” of whatever life has brought on, and thus enable you to look at your thoughts rather than being caught up in or dysfunctionally identifying with them.
    • It helps in processing grief and loss…and serves to reconcile life’s pain and hurt.

3. SQ IMPROVES THINKING…and helps to develop Resiliency.

• • • It’s a way to trainyour mind…to learn, to better focus, to observe, and to awaken.
    • It enables introspection…to reflect, process events and behaviors, and to adapt.
    • It “sharpens the saw” (Covey’s 7th Habit) in using one’s cognitive abilities, feeds motivation, and can serve to re-boot one’s outlook to start clean and fresh in taking life on.

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If you’ve never been taught, or discovered, the powerful skills and rewards of sitting quietly, it’s something you might consider learning how to do, given the rather significant benefits it provides; one can start with SQ-2. SQ, like exercise, can be easy to learn…and, like exercise, delivers a reward commensurate with the effort invested.

In the ERM, there are many ways to engage a SQ practice, and the different cognitive skills you’re working on – or actually using(!) – will guide your given “session” or “sitting.”  It may be helpful to know that there is no “wrong way” to engage in SQ. For even, and in some ways especially, during those moments or minutes of seemingly intense struggle, frustration, or boredom, one is likely making real progress in moving toward one’s desired objective.

As little as five or ten minutes a day of SQ will compound into major benefit.[1] And when you miss a day or two or three here and there, really, there’s no problem. (Unless, of course, you make it into one.)

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[1] Like everything in the ERM, SQ is subject to workability (i.e., “If it works, keep doing it…”). More on this in ERM-12.

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*Elephant/Rider Model: The Happiness Hypothesis, Jonathan Haidt, 2006.