Sitting Quietly – Thoughts about Feelings

This exercise in sitting quietly is helpful in learning about – and then reminding us – how our feelings can often get us into trouble!  For most of us, this is not obvious; nor are we even aware that this is really so!  “We have them, we react to them, that’s life.” Well, yes, but actually there’s more to it…

Being able to look at one’s feelings, and determine how relevant and/or appropriate they are – or not! – is critical in maintaining mental health and desirable well-being.

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Note this exercise is learned in stages. That is, start with one or two of the six observations about feelings in your first practice, and then add one or two each day. By the end of a week you will have the entire exercise down, and will likely be processing (i.e., looking at, testing, understanding, internalizing) some or all of them.

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Getting started…

1. Start as usual (or as you usually do): Sit up and get comfortable…and continue on to “Don’t expect anything” (ref SQ-2 card)

Observations about Feelings…

2. After a few more focused breaths, say to yourself “Let’s consider…” and then, preface each observation in the following list with “My feelings…”

• • • are real but are not reality. (They are instead, really, the product of my conditioning…)
    • are tied to my beliefs (And if they were to change, so would my feelings…)
    • may often stem from delusion. (Like everyone else, I too have been [and am] a target of dysfunctional conditioning…)
    • may, or may not, be appropriate. (Like when my biases and [cognitive] distortions “get in the way” of the reality…)
    • may, or may not, be helpful. (Like when I fail to “Step Back” when I really should…)
    • will always subside (No matter how good or bad…and thank goodness!)

3. In later exercises, as you go through the list, pause after each one…and see if it becomes a moment for you to investigate its actual meaning and relevance, to take it a little deeper…

 (Application Note:  After doing this some number of times, each item will start to become internalized – this means you won’t have to think about it’s “truth” or usefulness; it will be something you know as well as something your Elephant will take advantage of…)

Concluding…

4. When you’ve completed the list and your contemplation of it, take a moment to think of at least two things you’re grateful for in your life. [Engage a positive psychology benefit…]
5. Then, smile [actually smile] to yourself…take in a slightly deeper breath, gently open your eyes, and bring your awareness back to your present physical space.
6. When you’re ready, step calmly into the rest of your day…