One Way of Sitting Quietly…

As previously described, sitting quietly (SQ) may be called contemplation, mindfulness, prayer, reflection, meditation, respite, chilling, taking time out, collecting, noticing, or centering. This of course covers a lot of ground…and implies that SQ can be engaged in a variety of ways. What you will come to learn is that you can develop your own unique and individual practice; actually practices. For you can learn to alter, tailor, and apply them in ways to meet your needs or desires, given whatever time, mood, or situation you find yourself in.

A first step – and often the challenge for many people – is to achieve some level of comfort and self-confidence that you can actually sit for a period of time in quiet contemplation; that is, being alone and free from external distraction, like other people, electronic media, or some other diverting influence. If you’ve tried some exercise or practice in SQ before and found you couldn’t “sit still” or “got bored too easily” or “quickly became too restless,” try the following exercise.

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First read through the following steps to get familiar with the exercise; then do it…

Prepare to start:

1. Sit up and get comfortable – this can be done on a chair with your feet grounded on the floor; or sitting up cross-legged on the floor (using a mat with a cushion is helpful). Start a timer (e.g., your phone or watch) set for 3 minutes (okay, 5 minutes if you’re an overachiever), ending with a gentle sound/chime.
2. Rest your hands on the arms of the chair, or in your lap; if on a cushion, rest your hands together, one on top of the other, on your lap.

Start with the breath – and NO expectations:

3. Close your eyes and bring your focus to your breath. Breathe in through your nose if you can; otherwise, breathe in through your mouth, keeping it in a slightly open, relaxed setting. Breathe out through either your nose or mouth.
4. After some number of breaths (say 2–5), say silently to yourself, “Don’t expect anything.” Treat this as just a simple reminder to: Let go of expectations…and don’t start judging yourself…for whatever happens here will…so just let it.

Stay with the breath – until distracted:

5. Now stay with your focus on the breath. This is a matter of simply being alert and paying attention; and the more you do it, the easier it will eventually become – really!  Often, the early challenge is to acknowledge you’re having all these other thoughts coming up…but just try to put them and keep them in the background while maintaining your focus on the breath.
6. Now, at some point, your mind is going to wander away onto something other than its focus on the breath – guaranteed! This is not only okay, it’s normal and, yes, inevitable.
7. When you catch yourself thinking about something else, and no longer focused on the breath – good!  Then gently – and without judgment – bring your focus back to the breath. (Remember, you’re training your mind; and doing this over and over is just how it’s done!)
8. Do this for the 3 (or 5) minutes, and when your timer goes off, silence it. Now, in bringing this sitting to an end, take a moment to notice – in both your body and your mind – how you are feeling and what you are thinking…
9. Then, smile to yourself (yes, smile!), get up and calmly move into the rest of your day…

Now here’s the really important part:  Try doing this exercise (use “A 3-Minute Meditation” above or click here) on a regular basis, for example roughly the same time each day. (And if you miss a day, no problem; just pick it up on the next day.) See how your experience changes over the course of a week – because most likely it will!