Sitting Quietly: On Being…

This sitting quietly exercise can be used as presented here or easily modified to meet one’s own preferences or needs. It really serves as a kind of “mental checklist” that guides one through mindful consideration of how we can approach and better understand what we experience in our daily life. Reflecting on what we could do, and connecting it to what we have done, facilitates processing of recent and relevant events; and leads to improving our experience of being.

This exercise is pretty easily learned over the course of three or four sittings. Start out by memorizing the first three or four “steps” and then add two or three each successive session. You’ll “customize” each practice by choosing to pause and reflect on the meaning of any given item, or – and this happens quite naturally – making a connection with the item to some recent experience in your life. Successive sittings will also naturally lead to a deeper level of appreciation, insight, and often discovery into something heretofore unknown!

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As you recite the list say silently to yourself only the item presented in boldface, as the “content” in the “()” is only explanatory to the item…

To start:  Sit up and get comfortable – close your eyes and bring your focus right to the breath. After some number of breaths (say 3 to 5), go through the following list:

1. Don’t Expect Anything (In this exercise, setting low or no expectations relieves any stress to perform or “succeed.” What will happen will happen…so let it.)
2. Don’t Rush It (Remind yourself that engaging in this exercise isn’t a race; you’re not [or let’s say you shouldn’t be] trying to get it over more quickly so you can move on to the next item on you daily agenda…)
3. Don’t Push It (This exercise isn’t a contest either; you won’t be measured or found wanting.)
4. Don’t Cling To or Reject whatever comes up as thoughts and feelings (You know [or you’ll learn] it won’t help to hold on to, or try to avoid, whatever comes up…)
5. Let Go (Set “the baggage” down. Now, feeling less burdened, move forward…)
6. Accept (Most things we simply can’t change; so lean into this reality by accepting what is, while at the same time doing what you can do to make your life a rich, meaningful journey…)
7. Be Gentle (We are often far too harsh in our own self-judgments; put the Golden Rule [i.e., “treat others the way you like to be treated”] up to a mirror, and be kind and supportive to yourself. Yelling at or putting yourself down may feel good in the moment but long-term doesn’t really help…)
8. Investigate, Don’t Ruminate [or Perseverate] (Learn to recognize the difference between critical thinking [which can be helpful] and obsessive distraction [which is simply a waste of time and mental energy]; do the former, avoid the latter…)
9. Less Judging and Comparing (Of both oneself and others. Our Elephant carries way too many unhelpful biases and prejudices – and being reminded of this may help mitigate their negative influence…)
10. Problems and Pains Can Be Opportunities (This is never easy to remember “in the moment” of recognizing a problem or feeling pain. But to acknowledge this possibility may be enough to turn one’s perspective, after the moment of course… It’s also said “Adversity makes us stronger,” but this is usually forgotten in those moments of distress.)
11. Remember to laugh more (Humor, like love and kindness, is a what promotes well-being.)
12. Be Grateful (A little positive psychology here…and a good practice to engage regularly.)
13. Be Open…Be Curious…and Be Flexible (As these are an antidote to the adverse consequences of all our toxic conditioning,)
14. And now consider – a simple yet wonderful truth: How a smile is that intimate gift of sharing a moment, however brief – with someone we love…and yet also a stranger…

So reflect for a few more moments on what you’ve engaged with here…and then, step calmly into the rest of your day…